Dad's Funeral

Today was a the last day of the journey through Dad's funeral. I must say that I think I'll write down everything I want and find my own pictures before I pass away. It would take a lot of the craziness out of this process. It's so hard to do the things you know you have to do for the funeral when you don't feel like doing anything but just hanging out. It was nice to think through what Dad would want and fun to look through old photos but it is all very time consuming. Plus lets face it, just doing something like looking through photos is fun but doing it for a pressured deadline isn't as fun. Regardless we made it and I think it all turned out nice. Last night we had a viewing. Many people came and it was nice to see them come and show their respect and love for my dad. I think with all the whirlwind of getting ready for this night I was pretty emotionless. It was good though. I didn't want to be a blubbery mess. I should say too that I know we've prayed for him to be in a place where he will be himself again. Where he can be independent, and be free from pain. However, it's not easy. Even though for the past 2 years (7 if you count since the first surgery) he hasn't been "himself" there were moments that he was and I'll miss those. During those moments you knew he was thinking pretty clearly because he would be telling you how much he loved you, how much he wanted you to stay, or telling you to make sure you go to the temple. In one day you may only have a few seconds of those moments but they were great. Looking back, I probably would have thought and focused more on those times if the misery of the other times weren't so great. I should have just changed my thinking-- hindsight is 20/20. Back to today. . . I wasn't as strong today. It just hit me hard when we walked into the viewing room. Last night Darryl took the boys to Redmond to his parent's ward Christmas party. We figured it would be a long night for the boys to have to just sit around at the church. Also, his parents were planning on taking them anyway because Darryl was going to be in Florida for work. This was actually going to be the "wives" trip, so I was suppose to go too but we canceled my tickets last week when we knew about the funeral. He made some last minute changes and was able to stay until Saturday after the funeral. Maybe it was because the boys were there and they were so sweet. They loved Grandpa but they really didn't know how Grandpa was. I wish they knew. One day they will. There were many family members and close friends that came through the line too that just made me cry because I knew how much my dad loved them. Then when it was time for the family to say goodbye and for them to close the casket Kade was a blubbery mess. He was on the floor hysterically crying. That tore my heart out. He's so sensitive and so when other people are sad it really gets to him. I was trying to calm him down and he just kept saying, "I just can't stop crying." Eventually we got him calmed down some. The viewing went over by about an hour. They said there were many that were in line that had to leave because the line was taking so long. I felt bad that everyone wasn't able to get in. Plus there were some that couldn't stay for all of the funeral because it started too late. Not sure how you get them through faster without it becoming impersonal. Well the funeral was great. It was fun to hear all of the memories that everyone shared. It's great to go back and remember so many things that you've forgotten from your life as a child. I had to talk to. This was not my plan. I didn't think there would be any possible way that I'd be able to hold it together enough to speak. Well in planning the funeral my mom wanted the kids to do a tribute. We all turned to Buzz because Wayne doesn't like to talk in public, Lisa has been crying non-stop since last Friday and I was sure I couldn't do it. Buzz was the logical solution. He had been getting all the jobs though. He had to call all 9 siblings, the neighbors, and friends when Dad passed away because we couldn't. Now he was going to have to talk. Mom wanted multiple kids talking. Lisa was out because she was crying so she said she'd like to play a piano solo. So that meant Buzz and I and Wayne. Who would do it with Buzz. Well if 2 did and Lisa played one would be left out so Mom insisted we all take part. I texted Wayne and said you can sing to Lisa's song or do the Tribute with Buzz and I. He chose to speak. So it was settled . . . kind of. We hadn't decided what we were going to say. Sat. morning we still hadn't finalized anything. I knew I would need someone up with me incase I started to cry. Well that didn't happen. Wayne and Buzz wanted to share memories and so that left me where? . . . I couldn't do that. I decided to do a life timeline--stick to the facts = less tears. For the most part it worked out. I did look up once and saw one of dad's close friends crying and so I lost it for a moment. This is what I read.

Born Oct. 17, 1940 in Salina

Worked on the farm tromping hay for 10 cents a load

Sold chicken's eggs for 3 cents a piece

Go to Grandpa DeLange's store to buy penny candy, pop, candy bars, and ice cream(green pineapple trumped everything else)

During the day they would go to the crank pay phone in town and ring the operator and ask her for a date

At night they would ring door bells or knock and run

Mostly he would take a piece of line, a  hook, and a worm and head to the creek.  He would find a willow, break off a branch, and tie the line to the stick.  Then he would fish a along the bank.  When he was done he'd break of the end of the willow, wrap the line around the tip, and put it in his pocket-- ready for the next trip.

They had no TV so they would go to Ray Burr's house and ask if they could watch their TV.  They mostly watched boxing matches-- they loved Gene Fulmer

His dad took him and Ross to West Jordan to watch Jersey Jo and Gene fight for the middle weight championship-- Gene won.

Attended school @ Koosharem Elementary and Jr. High through his Sophomore year

Jr and Sr years he attended school in Richfield

Jr. year he rode home with a guy after school but half way through the year the guy got an after school job in Richfield so Dad hitch hiked back to Koosharem every day

Sr. year he lived with Luraine Burr and worked at Whitings Garage cleaning floors for 50 cents and hour

He participated in wrestling and football

May 28, 1958 he graduated from high school

Went to Snow College for one quarter then dropped out to join the Air Force

He graduated from Morse Intercept School

Stationed in Alaska for a while and loved the country there

Completed service at Malmstrom AF Base in Great Falls, Montana.  It was there that he became very active in the church

April 1963 he was honorably discharged

Bishop Garth Bagley called him in after he was home for a couple weeks to ask him to go on a mission. 

June 1963 he was on a plane to New Zealand to serve his mission.

In 1967 Dad and Mom met, and were married

In College he studied civil engineering, political science, accounting, and landed on psychology.  He liked that but wasn't sure what to do with but teach.

Student taught in Vegas

Ran into Garth Bagley who was attending Special Ed. meetings and he convinced Dad to do his masters in Special Ed.

Wayne was born in 1971

Transferred to BYU to work on masters

In 71 he was hired to teach in Heber

They moved to Midway

He taught at Wasatch Jr High and Central Elementary

Kept driving to BYU to finish his Masters

Apr. 1973 Buzz was born

Had first girl April 2, 1975

His dad's health was failing so they spent a lot of time on the road between Midway and Koosharem so. . .

He applied to teach in Sevier

Didn't get the job offer, the lady they hired quit mid-year so they called him and asked him to break his contract with Wasatch but dad couldn't do that to the District.  Sevier was impressed by that so they got a sub for the rest of the year and had Dad sign a contract for the 1978-1979 school year.

During the summer of 1978 Dad started having seizures at night

Diagnosed with a benign brain tumor

Had surgery and recovered

Lived in Koosharem and Salina while their house was being built in Aurora

Started teaching at Salina Elementary 1978

Sept. 1979 Jennifer was born

Taught for 25 years for the Sevier School District; 32 years total

Had second jobs during teaching career: Utah State Parks, custodial/maintenance at The Homestead, Brown's Boots and Shoe repair, farming, Pearson Tire, and maintenance for UDOT

2004 he retired

2005 started noticing unusual smells, sounds in his ears, and headaches

May 2005 diagnosed with malignant brain tumor and had surgery; prognosis not good

Began traveling: Caribbean Cruise, Oregon Coast, China(not to see China but to spend time with Lavell Edwards :-D), Alaska, Church History Trip, Mesa Verde

Shocked all medical workers with clean MRI's for 5 years and in Sept 2010 the MRI revealed the cancer was back; prognosis- a few months

Insisted on surgery, suffered a stroke while in recovery which paralyzed his left side

Had one more ice-fishing trip on the ice with Buzz and Wayne with transportation by the Razor

Fought hard every day for over 7 1/2 years and died on Nov. 30, 2012

I'm going to put the transcript of the other talks in the book I'm making about my dad. The rest of the day was nice. The service at the Cemetery was neat. Kerry Sorenson was one of the Legion men who participated in the Veterans Salute. It was neat to have him be a part of that. The service was really short though because a bitter wind was blowing pretty hard. Everyone met up again at the church for a luncheon that the Relief Society put together. It was nice to visit with extended family that we don't get to see very often. Then we headed back home with the many flowers and plants that people had sent. It was so touching to see the names of the people who had sent flowers. A few had sent both large flower displays, and large plants. I was so surprised to see some of the arrangements with my name on them. I got an e-mail one day saying my great friend Wendy Spencer and her family had donated money to brain cancer research in lieu of flowers. It still makes me cry to think about it. Dad would have told everyone to use the flower money for that, but he would say to first use some of it to get your own cancer screenings done. People are so thoughtful and good.